2017: The year that was
By Blake "Racehorse" Chavez
As we bring down the curtain on 2017, a few things are apparent in boxing.
(1) Boxing is not dying anytime soon.
(2) Floyd will need more money soon.
(3) Dana White wants in, and soon.
(4) Oscar wants his own ass kicked very soon.
(5) Nonito should leave soon.
(6) Pacman’s skills are gone, but he won’t quit anytime soon.
(7) Andre Ward may have left too soon.
(8) "One Time" Thurman don’t want anything to do with Spence Jr.
(9) Bob Arum don’t want Loma to have anything to do with Mikey Garcia.
(10) Jeff Horn don’t want anything to do with Terrence Crawford.
(11) Anthony Joshua don’t want anything to do with Deontay.
(12) The elite English fighters don’t want anything to do with the elite
American fighters.
(13) Boo Boo Andrade yaps, but really don’t want anything to do with anybody that can fight.
(14) Rigo don’t want anything to do with anybody who comes to fight.
(15) Amir Khan don’t want anything to do with Kell Brook.
(16) Kell Brook don’t want anything to do with anybody named Spence or Charlo.
(17) Old Man Adonis Stevenson don’t want anything to do with anybody that doesn’t drive a cab.
(18) Teddy Atlas don’t want anything to do with anyone named Mark Kreigel.
(19) Timothy Bradley looks like Jerry from the cartoon Tom & Jerry.
(20) Adrien Broner looks like liquor has ended his days as a potent draw.
(21) Chocolatito looks like super-fly was a bridge too far for his little bad ass.
(22) Over-rated Gary Russell looks like he’ll milk Uncle Al Haymon till the cows come home.
(23) The Robert Garcia Stable looks like a big winner for years to come.
(24) Naoya Inoue looks like he’s headed to bantamweight for bigger purses.
(25) Devin Haney looks like he has ADD; can’t even focus for a short interview.
(26) Undefeated Omar Figueroa looks like he doesn’t even want to be in the fight game.
(27) Jim Lampley and Max Kellerman will say anything to favor HBO "House" fighters.
(28) Paulie Malignaggi will say anything just to appear relevant.
(29) Freddie Roach will say anything just for the hell of it.
(30) David Haye will say anything because the British press will print anything he says.
(31) Tyson Fury: see above.
(32) Jeff Mayweather will say anything because he got robbed of his 15 minutes of fame.
(33) Leonard Ellerbe will say anything because he just doesn’t know any better.
(34) The quickest way for Mikey Garcia to become an instant superstar is to drag JMM out of retirement and kick his ass at Staples Center at 144 lbs. Garcia needs star-power opponents to prove his worth, but the big guns are shying away. JMM would give him a giant payday and massive name-scalp. The Mexicans would have a new hero to worship. Not a fraud like Canelo, who is still pretending he won the GGG fight. Who cares if JMM is too old? Rigo was too small for Loma. GGG got cheated out of his Canelo win. Mayweather ripped everyone off for $300 million. Bottom line? Nobody seems to care. All that matters are headlines in today’s world. Fans just keep watching and keep paying. Garcia needs JMM since there are no longer any Morales, Barrera’s, and PacMan’s out there willing to fight such a threatening young gun.
(35) The quickest way for Errol Spence Jr. to become an instant superstar is to jump two divisions and whip Billie Joe Saunders. Then roll back down to 154’s. Nothing to lose because "One Time’ is crapping in his pants to avoid Spence and lil Terrance Crawford’s daddy, Bob Arum, will never feed Terrence to Spence. Ever. Same goes for Shawn Porter’s daddy. Aint happening. And speaking of daddy’s; you know Danny Garcia’s daddy aint gonna go crazy and sacrifice Danny to Spence either. So welterweight is out for Spence Jr. No challengers means no money. Spence Jr. is a rare talent who has made it clear that friendship means nothing to him in the fight game. He will fight the Charlo brothers in a quick minute if the money is right. Says he’s gonna feed his family first, then worry about friendships later.
(36) The quickest way for Loma to become an instant superstar (in the payday department) is to drag Timothy Bradley’s old ass out of retirement and throttle him at 142 lbs.
Bradley finally gives Loma a big name scalp, and helps erase the stink of his itty-bitty Rigo bout, and gives the fans the illusion that Loma took a huge risk.
Bradley couldn’t hit Loma on the ass with a handful of rice. Old Bob Arum would love to squeeze Bradley’s manager one more time for old time’s sake. (Bradley’s manager is also his wife... a dim-bulb foil that Arum routinely ripped to shreds) And Arum doesn’t care if Garcia thrashes Tim... he was retired anyway. Bob gets one more payday out of him.
(37) The quickest way for Leo Santa Cruz to become an instant superstar is to meet Jorge Linares at 132 lbs. That match sells out Staples Center at decent seat prices. If Leo is the goods he wins. Big. If not, he goes back down and fights a couple of midgets like Mares and still gets nice checks. But he must dare to be great if he wants superstar purses. Linares has nothing to lose. He fights a lighter guy, gets a healthy check and keeps his title. Besides, Linares is slowing down; could be a barn-burner.
(38) The quickest way for Tyson Fury to become an instant superstar is to jump straight in on Anthony Joshua. Win or lose, it’s a fight that’s much bigger in England than the Kitschko fight. Much bigger.. A win-win money situation. Massive retirement payday.
Go home for the holidays; and stay there--Andre Berto, David Haye, Adonis, Nonito, Pantera, Andre Ward, Rigo, John Molina, PacMan, Siri Salido, Floyd, Conor, Holly Holm, GSP, Devon Alexander, Julio Jr., Vanes, and Diego Chaves. You gave us countless thrills and chills. Now go enjoy Christmas and a long, healthy retirement!
Merry Christmas everybody!
Blake "Racehorse" Chavez answers all his emails
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