1) While many fans have given Toney the business for either his mouth, his physique or both, he was taking what little time he had to prepare for this fight and learned what he could in that time. Of course he wasn’t going to become a seasoned warrior in the Octagon in a mere eight months but remember, eight months is four times as long as one would typically prepare for a fight in boxing. On the other hand, eight months for one fight in boxing is most certainly overtraining but Toney ate (no pun intended), slept and breathed UFC, if for only resulting in one ill-fated night. He stepped into the Octagon. He got treated in the Octagon. But he did it.
2) On the other hand, the second thing we learned is probably the first thing Toney learned. For all the criticisms you might harbor for a certain genre, if it’s the only thing you’ve got, all of the confidence in the world won’t get you over on someone who’s been doing his thing for years. And no one ever really should’ve expected otherwise. Take me, for instance. I’m stupid for “Iron Chef America.” Love it. Even more than “Iron Chef America,” I think Iron Chef Masaharu Morimoto is just plain badass. I said to my wife the other night, “If I could, I’d challenge Morimoto to a showdown just so when the Chairman asks me, ‘Which Iron Chef will be blinded by the speed of your paws’ KNIFE SKILLS?’ (Notice “knife skills” is all in caps. That’s there for effect because that how Mark Dacascos would do it, man!), I would say, ‘He’s been an idol of mine for years from the earliest days of ‘Iron Chef’ tradition. I choose Iron Chef Morimoto…because I’m just really curious as to how badly he’s gonna beat my half-breed ass over 60 minutes.’” And he would! Hey, I’m pretty good in a kitchen but, to paraphrase Papa Coyote, I don’t know sh*t from butter about how to sashimi-style anything much less make a proper ceviche. But I’ll tell you what; if Morimoto challenged me to a contest in acrylic painting, I’d stomp him like a narc at Sturgis (and you can find out why at www.coyoteduran.com. Just sayin’…).
That’s Couture-Toney in a nutshell.
Oh, give “Monty” a break, why don’tcha?...
Let’s set this record straight. Our own Gabriel Montoya interviewed UFC President Dana White with the intent on shedding a little light on what makes his organization successful while Our Sport has suffered for a long time. From what I gathered, it was not meant to be some sort of indictment of boxing. Just as well, it gave me cause to look into UFC a little more. What I found was a simplicity that boxing hasn’t had in a long while. Know what I noticed? We’ve got 17 weight classes. UFC has FIVE (No, I’m not trying to sound like the Chairman). That’s right, five, and they’re lightweight (146 to 155 pounds), welterweight (156 to 170 pounds), middleweight (171 to 185 pounds), light heavyweight (186 to 205 Pounds), and heavyweight (206 to 265 pounds). Simple. I also noticed there’s no “diamond,” “silver,” “youth,” or “Fecal-box” champions. Save for an “interim” titleholder every once in a while (See Brock Lesnar vs. Shane Carwin), I don’t think I’ve ever met a confused fan of UFC. As far as the UFC itself, the organization is a league, not a sanctioning body, unlike every other pack of crooks who wields a trio of initials in Our Sport (and might I add, despite what you’ve read on Yahoo! Sports or any other outlet that buys into the sanctioning bodies’ garbage, James Toney is NOT a world heavyweight champion. It’s nonsense).
Wanna know what else works? The fact that you can buy every major UFC event on DVD. When was the last time you bought an HBO pay-per-view event on DVD from your local Wal-Mart or Target? Probably about the eleventeenth of never. What’s made UFC more popular than boxing? Simplicity. And before you begin the barrage of hate mail some of you foisted on “Monty,” I’m gonna tell you what he was trying to tell you: I love boxing. It’s A-number-one, as far as sports go. But I’m asking you to not hate but appreciate.
Mmmmm…Aztec donuts…
I’ve gotta tell ya; I think Giovanni Segura vs. Ivan Calderon unquestionably lived up to its expectations and provided us with a great fight that was Segura’s to win from the get-go. Segura fought the perfect fight, taking the technician in “Iron Boy” to his limits and did it well over the course of eight rounds. From the body work to the pressure to just not allowing Calderon to adjust on the fly made me wonder if this was a 108-pound version of what Manny Pacquiao vs. Floyd Mayweather Jr. would look like. But this wasn’t for any silly pound-for-pound distinction; it was to unify Segura’s and Calderon’s alphabet titles and (if that wasn’t enough) for the real distinction of who’s number one at 108, THE RING magazine’s World Junior Flyweight Championship.
What I found rather whimsical (yet not more than commentator “Colonel” Bob Sheridan’s VERY weirdly partisan commentary during Hector Marengo vs. Jose Gonzalez on the undercard) was the Winchell’s Donuts logo smack dab on the chest section of Segura’s Aztec-style tunic. Mmmmm…nothing says, “Aztec Warrior trying to make weight” quite like a spicy chipotle breakfast croissant, a glazed blueberry fritter and a strawberry banana licuado. I reiterate; mmmmmmmm…
How’s that for a Slice of fried gold?...
Kimbo Slice wants to invade boxing…*sigh*…
Look, I’m sure the fighter known for backyard/YouTube brawling/bodyguarding porn stars for Vivid Video is probably a nice guy (for Christ’s sake, he was in “Merry Christmas, Drake and Josh”!) but come on, Kimbo; do yourself a favor and read the first entry in this very article.
Questions? Comments? Complaints? Contact Coyote at artofthepaw@yahoo.com or visit him at www.facebook.com/CoyoteDuran or www.myspace.com/coyote_duran. Please visit www.coyoteduran.com or www.facebook.com/CDCreationNation to check out Coyote’s original art. Currently, Coyote has no followers on Twitter. Because he has no Twitter.
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