Doug Fischer
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 Chee's Doggy Bag
By 'icheehuahua' (November 13, 2002)
For more by Chee visit his site at DoghouseBoxing.com
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I get lots of e-mails weekly from MaxBoxing.com readers. Most of it is pretty good, some are even out standing. Some are questions, others are comments, but the Doggy Bag consists of the e-mails I receive on parody requests. Consider the Doggy Bag a spin off from Doug Fischer’s popular Mail Bags. If pictures are worth a thousand words, then my Parody Pictures matched with your suggestions should be worth not only a thousand words but hopefully a thousand laughs as well.
BOB HAIR-UM!
 Hey icheehuahua I am a fan of your pics. I think it’s cool that Doug has a sense of humor. I loved the one where Doug is the Marshmallow man from the movie Ghostbusters. You guys are at the top of your game, very creative and make an excellent team. Have I kissed enough ass? I hope so because I would love for you to give a distinctive hair style to Bob Arum. He needs to stand out in a crowd like his counterpart Don King. I just don’t like how Bob Arum can blend in looking like a fat retired cop or something. He is a crook and a crook should have a crooky looking hair style. At least King is man enough to have hair that looks like it’s vomiting out of his scalp. Now that’s a crook! Can you fix it up? — Barry B, Texas.
I personally never put much thought into Bob Arum’s hair, but your ass kissing comments hit a chord with me. Then you followed through and hit my Funny Bone where it counts with the hair looking like it’s vomiting out of Don King’s scalp. So I decided your e-mail and request was well put and deserving. There are just to many hair styles out there and there really is no limit to what sort of fun we could have here. A few ideas instantly pop into mind. A Mr T. inspired Mohawk is always a favorite to use on the first guy who passes out from the tequila at a party. However, even a Mohawk is too cool for Arum. Then I thought about that bleach blond spikey hair look that Billy Idol made famous in the '80’s. Let’s face it, although this look is “crooky”, it just might be too hip. In the end, the solid gold winner is always going to be the good old-fashion clown’s hair style.
 CRAP TALK
Doug Fischer’s mail bag is always a first on my list. I love the icheehuahua parody pics and couldn’t stop laughing when I saw Jeremy Williams climbing out of a toilet! That was some funny stuff because I think Jeremy Williams is a piece of crap, but most fans should direct their anger at Mike Tyson. I am so pissed off at him for making me think he was for real. I believed the Hype. Heck I ate up the hype! Then that Limey Bastard Lennox Lewis came along and opened my eyes. I could not believe that Limey tagged and slapped around Mike Tyson with ease. After the fight, I woke up with a new look on things. I decided I had to see where Mike Tyson went wrong. I went to the site for boxing records (www.boxec.com ) and decided to take an in depth look at the glorious career of Mike Tyson. Guess what? His record is crap! No wonder Mike Tyson is always talking s__t! He is S__T! He’s been fed s__t since birth! I thought he was talking all that crazy stuff because he could back up that big mouth of his and make Lennox Lewis pay. You should do a Parody picture of Mike Tyson eating s__t! Signed — XXX
XXX, I am sensing you have a lot of anger built up in you. It’s a shame Dear Abby just kicked the bucket. She could have dedicated a whole column on you. Don’t get me wrong, I got to admit I got a chuckle out of your rage and your idea for a parody. I can’t stick a turd in Tyson’s mouth without Gary Randall asking me to stick a thermometer in mine. However I did sense a lot of conviction in how you believe Tyson has been eating Brown Tomato Paste since birth. Don’t sell yourself short on Tyson and what he has accomplished. Fact is, don’t even sell Mike Tyson short today. I myself thought Lewis would win, but I never counted Tyson out. His skills may have left quicker than the time it takes a bullet to bounce off Superman's ass, but the guy can still hit like a donkey who just got stabbed in the hairy onions with a Rusty Ginsu!
NO ONE FEARS A HAPPY DOCTOR
Dear mr icheehuahua, Wladimir Klitschko doesn’t look mean. How can a guy instruct fear into his opponents if he looks like some happy oath all the time? He looks like a big goon who is all too happy just to be smiling for us. They call him the Dr. That’s a cool nickname, but he is a happy doctor. People fear a mean doctor. Even I fear a mean doctor but not a happy doctor. Maybe Wlad should be Dr. Seus and read kids books because he is too happy of a Doctor to scare. Just for once, I’d like to see a smiling Wlad look somewhat angry. Dr Angry, not Dr. Seus! — Dick Racer
Well Dick you know, this isn’t an easy task. Wlad is a naturally cheerful looking guy. I hate to break this, but maybe he had a happy childhood. Happy children usually grow up to be happy adults. I know what you are thinking, and I feel it too... how unfair! Really though, I think there is room to be a mean-but-happy guy. Do you remember the Cookie Monster? He was one bad ass dude. You knew he could kick butt and make cookies on the side. He was a monster, ruthless and terrible, yet against all odds he always remained friendly and composed until you flipped a cookie in his face. A cookie in front of his face and you knew all bets were off. So let’s not be too hard on Wlad, after all, we already know what he can do when you flip him the Byrd.
 LAST, BUT CERTAINLY NOT LEAST — KATZ BASTARD
I have a parody request for maxboxing.com, here goes... Michael Katz face on toppa the "Fat Bastard" character's body from the Austin Powers movies. — Goldmember
Well Goldmember... what can I say? What I can’t say in words, I can say in pictures. I like Uncle Katz, and appreciate everything that our in-house Fat Bastard has to offer. Still after this being said, I got to say out of the request I’ve chosen for the Debut Doggy Bag, this was the one that made me laugh the most. Think about it, Fat Bastard... Katz Bastard. The humor involved in this picture just never ends.
**As usual icheehuahua parody Pics are created for fun and never to be taken serious. If you’d like to get your request published in “Doggy Bag” by icheehuahua, then Send Your comments, with a Parody request to icheehuahua@rogers.com
You never know, you just might make the Doggy Bag.
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E-Mail 'Icheehuahua' at Icheehuahua@rogers.com
For more from Chee, visit him at DoghouseBoxing.com
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